Stephanie – Forgiveness

Part 4 of 5

Forgiveness is a topic that keeps coming up with my clients.  We attract those energetically that are in alignment with ourselves.  I know there are many people, including myself, that I need to forgive.  It seems that we focus on forgiving those who have done something big that has affected us in some way.  I am learning that it may seem that people are doing things to you, but really people are just being who they are.  It is how we react that makes a difference.

That is why forgiveness really has nothing to do with the person who has committed the act.  It is about forgiving their act and the impact they had (have) on us.  I imagine those emotions as being incredibly heavy.  It is as if we would get

Misty & Stephanie 1974
Me on the left and Stephanie in 1974

on the scale and be at least 30 pounds heavier than we truly are.  Forgiving is not for the other person.  It is only for you. To lighten our load, then we all must work on forgiving those who have done something that may have affected you in some way and it is also the smaller weight on everyday matters that may need forgiveness as well.  Those can add up.

I feel that I have forgiven my sister’s ex-husband for what had happened.  In his statement to the Sheriff’s Office when she was first missing he stated, “I was the last person to see Stephanie alive.”  This act was not done directly to me but it did affect me heavily and permanently.  I will admit that I always had hope and believed that there has to be some reason for what had happened and know that it isn’t important for me to know that reason and it is okay.  It is hard to justify what he may have done to my sister.  I had to find some peace within that situation or else my life would be miserable for these 20+ years.  It would have affected my kids growing up and their children.

To me, forgiveness means that I trust and believe that God will handle what needs to be handled.  Hate and revenge is so heavy to live with and no one really has that much energy to constantly live that way.  It is like a toxic poison that is ingested that eventually will create dis-ease in our bodies.

Forgiving those who are around us daily for those “little” things can, over time dwell upon us as well.  Remember that there has to be a little good in people as we are all a child of God and are made in his likeness.  We all are doing to best we can as we all have battles to overcome.

I have learned many years ago, that I did not have the time or the energy to keep that hate in my heart.  Forgiveness is the way to release that hate so you can be lighter energetically. Releasing that hate and disapproval of someone for what they did does not mean you have given up and let them win.  It actually means that you love yourself more than hate their actions and I believe that to be a beautiful outlook on forgiveness.

Stephanie’s tragic death has taught me so much for my spiritual growth.  I wish it would not have happened the way it did, but there is no way I could have changed that.  Her destiny was hers and I am only a witness to it.  I could have a lot of hate in my heart but she would have still died tragically so it is best I learn from her choices.  It is the best way to love myself and honor her.

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